Can we go....?
I've had my consultation, I've met the Doctor and her nurses, I have my CT Scan set-up complete, I even have 4 tattoos now. What's next...? Can we go to New York!!?
On Friday, I called Dr. Dutton's office to see if I could get a definitive answer about our trip. In September, we asked my Surgeon if we could go, he told us that we could still go on this trip, even if I had to get Radiation. We've been planning and booking activities for this trip ever since. It has been a great distraction. An almost symbolic prize waiting for us at the finish-line to the end of Cancer! Read more about the importance of this trip HERE.
Dr. Dutton's Phone Call
Later in the day Dr. Dutton called me back. She told me that she was able to talk to Dr. Gottchalk and they created a plan. She told me that she doesn't normally work on Friday's but, she wanted to get my plan completed ASAP. She told me that once she is done, she submits my plan to their Physics department. The physics department will run through Dr. Dutton's calculations verifying everything and then eventually signing off. She told me that she hopes to have it approved and ready to implement by Tuesday which means I would start Radiation on Wednesday. She told me that if she gets it back on Monday then, she will push my start date to Tuesday. Regarding New York: She told me that on occasion of there is a death in the family, she is able to make a break for a patient so that they could go tot the funeral. Again, she reminded me that I have a very aggressive Cancer, that my margins were positive after surgery (meaning I still have Cancer), and that this Radiation isn't a precautionary measure - that it is absolutely necessary to slow, stop, fully remove the Cancer from my body. She told me that I am LUCKY that it is a low grade Cancer and that I have the ability to only need Radiation. She told me that she can't MAKE me get Radiation, and ultimately it is up to me. She told me that If we go to New York and take a 5-treatment break, that we will always wonder if the Radiation is effective. She told me that after conversations with my Surgeon and Dr. Gottchalk that she would recommend that we not got to New York.
Dr. Gottchalk's Phone Call
Dr. Gottchalk also called me on Friday. I was talking with a client of mine when he called so I wasn't able to answer. He left me a message. He told me that he apologizes for giving me hope the day before that it might be possible for us to still go on my trip. He told me that after talking with my surgeon and Dr. Dutton that all three highly recommend that we do not go on our trip.
Dr. F's Phone Call
My husband also reached out to Dr F in Redding. Read more about Dr. F on this post... HERE. Dr. F agreed with the other two Radiation Doctors and my Surgeon. He told Nate that if you stop necessary Radiation of a very aggressive cancer that it is possible to speed up the growth of the Cancer which would ultimately lead to a tumor retuning or the Cancer spreading.
My Thoughts...
Ok, Ok, we won't go!! Geesh, I could do without all the scary Cancer talk. Good grief!
Truth be told that Im sad, I even cried. Not much else to say about it. It's nice to think we will go another time but, Im not sure of the likelihood. Im not sure that it's just not going on the trip that makes me sad but, more likely it is because of the truth that I still have Cancer.
Either way, the Fight continues! My health is the MOST IMPORTANT, period. The good thing is that when my Radiation is over there will be NO question about the effectiveness of the Therapy.
If you are continuing to pray for me. Please pray that the Radiation Therapy is effective. Pray that I am fully Cancer free. Nate booked this trip for us the day BEFORE we found out I had Cancer. We have been told that it is non-refundable. Please pray that the Marriott Marquee in Times Square will be willing to refund us, due to my necessary Radiaiton. Thank you for your prayers.
Thank you for Reading!! Love you all!
I understand the tears and sometimes it is good to release them. I know you will beat this damn cancer and get to go to New York .May be not this year but there are many other times you will be able to go! Keep on pushing forward , you are fabulous!
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